Love Note From a Suicide

Don't ask, just don't. I've been channeling the late great E.A. Poe as of late and I've always been a morbid person. Emotions bubble up when you don't want them to and don't always come in the form you wish they would. I don't want to have to put a suicide disclaimer on every piece of work I write that's morbid or from the perspective of someone dead and long gone - so let it be said now: I am not suicidal, I am not contemplating suicide. I write what comes to me. And as the light shone golden upon the trees of this small Appalachian town, as I sat in the car and felt the arid breeze upon my face, the words struck with full force. And this is the result.


"Love Note From a Suicide."

Here I sit upon a ledge
looking down so far,
my hands are torn from gripping the edge,
I wonder when I will fall.
I fell not once, but twice for you
my efforts gone unseen;
I fell and dropped and climbed again
among countless other deeds.
And now I sit on edge again,
wondering how far I'll go
to keep your eye and have your heart,
a love I will never again know.

I jump again and laugh as I fall,
floating so free above.
I speak these words to you my dear,
now on the wings of a dove.
Listen so closely to the wind,
and feel my heartfelt shame,
the rains will come soon to this place
to wash away my name.
All that's left of me is yours my love,
floating on the skies,
I regret the words I never spoke:
whispering them only in cries.

Let go of your ledge and jump with me,
falling opposite: up to the sky.
Feel my laughter and hear my pain
carried by wings on high.
I loved you then,
I love you still,
but now you shy away.
Never forget the words we spoke
upon that heat-sickened day:
"Never another,
Never again:
This spot in my heart is all yours."
Words you take for granted now,
my monument stuck in the ground.

You were never brave enough,
to storm those seas of blood:
the battle you said you'd wage for me:
a battle you'd never begun.
Let it be known that even now,
as I hover above this land,
my heart was never aught but yours,
Yours, my sad little man.

Grieve not now at the loss of me,
the love you gave away,
Feel nothing but the heart of she,
she who begs you to stay.
The world is no less vibrant now
without me in your life.
Spare me not another thought,
go home and comfort your wife.

I never meant to fall for you,
although I'm glad I did.
I didn't mean to fall so far
that I fell right off the grid.
I fell so fast, and broke so hard,
there's nothing left but dust:
Never forget, my dear little muse,
I left you because I must.

It wasn't my grip that loosed the edge,
I didn't want that end,
But the thought of our broken pledge,
made my will take bend.
Without resolve and the comfort of you,
I slowly lost my mind.
All that's left to speak of now
are butterfly wings frozen in time.

Mourn not for me, my lion dear,
remember deep in your heart
the love we had was always doomed
and fated from the start.
Cry not for me, hold onto she,
the one you've been looking for.
I could never have given you that,
although I offered you more.

Fear not my darling at my demise
you only must turn your head
turn your ear on a warm summer night
and listen to the skies:
There I whisper and there I remain
so memorialized by the Gods,
my feelings for you remain unchanged,
though my body rots beneath sod.

So long as I lived, I promised you
I would try to find a way:
I failed my goal and I let go
But I still love you all the same.